You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
