is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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