Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
