Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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