Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
