We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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