I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
