I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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