Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
