It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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