Cold hands, warm shart.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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