In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize