i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
