ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
