GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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