I wanna passion pit in your ass
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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