She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
