8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
