So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
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About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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