Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
my sisters under your porch take her home
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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