that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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