i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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