You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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