So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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