dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
