Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

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  (314): I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs http://tfl.nu/syr9
  Replies (12) Good night (2564) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bet i've been more pregnant than you.

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  (602): I bet i've been more pregnant than you. http://tfl.nu/0mti
  Replies (16) Good night (718) Bad night (4341)
• Favorite

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

  (1-475): View more from Connecticut

  exact location. now.

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  (475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v
  Replies (26) Good night (1595) Bad night (3543)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's just like the Real World with babies

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  (330): It's just like the Real World with babies http://tfl.nu/2wbr
  Replies (10) Good night (627) Bad night (3266)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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  (925): We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/vmkf
  Replies (62) Good night (957) Bad night (6885)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.

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  (757): Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore. http://tfl.nu/pqxc
  Replies (31) Good night (1580) Bad night (4802)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.

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  (734): I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises. http://tfl.nu/ybn2
  Replies (14) Good night (2864) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time

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  (251): I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time http://tfl.nu/7lhp
  Replies (7) Good night (784) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.

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  (206): Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life. http://tfl.nu/nb15
  Replies (12) Good night (2482) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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  (417): Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants http://tfl.nu/tk01
  Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room

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  (413): You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room http://tfl.nu/ree5
  Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

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  (336): I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body" http://tfl.nu/dnkv
  Replies (8) Good night (1967) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times

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  (573): You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times http://tfl.nu/9yzl
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE

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  (713): You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever (281): I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE http://tfl.nu/gxon
  Replies (4) Good night (939) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Our relationship needs a sober moment

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  I'll call you when that happens

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  (719): Our relationship needs a sober moment (1-719): I'll call you when that happens http://tfl.nu/srmb
  Replies (0) Good night (425) Bad night (219)

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