Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.