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• (214): View more from Texas

  She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  they said they heard you say put it in my butt

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (904): View more from Florida

  bring the vodka.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?

  (904): View more from Florida

  we are.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon

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• (408): View more from California

  I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.

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