Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal

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  (407): No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal http://tfl.nu/6ttq
  Replies (10) Good night (3679) Bad night (1058)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."

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  (507): The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older." http://tfl.nu/7qja
  Replies (8) Good night (4135) Bad night (701)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  succeeding

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  (781): we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives? (910): succeeding http://tfl.nu/avwv
  Replies (10) Good night (5298) Bad night (1090)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

  (561): View more from Florida

  But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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  (561): Bad news is he broke up with me via text message (561): But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville http://tfl.nu/1qx8
  Replies (28) Good night (7122) Bad night (1473)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.

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  (715): Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester. http://tfl.nu/dlm3
  Replies (19) Good night (1266) Bad night (4229)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

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  (903): All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news. http://tfl.nu/pxui
  Replies (10) Good night (2028) Bad night (1223)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.

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  (519): We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet. http://tfl.nu/qx6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (2307)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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  (503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf
  Replies (7) Good night (2792) Bad night (686)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2906) Bad night (825)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..

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  (785): this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car.. http://tfl.nu/jqo1
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (3055)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.

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  (717): If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate. http://tfl.nu/gd7q
  Replies (13) Good night (2539) Bad night (718)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.

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  (914): I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me. http://tfl.nu/7a7a
  Replies (5) Good night (1528) Bad night (1623)
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  (209): View more from California

  Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.

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  (209): Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid. http://tfl.nu/85w7
  Replies (8) Good night (2288) Bad night (649)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here

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  (603): Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here http://tfl.nu/t56p
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (863)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.

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  (206): As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light. http://tfl.nu/6mx3
  Replies (10) Good night (2684) Bad night (458)

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