At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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