Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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