i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
