hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
nutella sex= disaster
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that