Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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