she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize