I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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