hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
