I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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