try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
