We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
