All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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