Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My vagina just recognized that song.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
