i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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