is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
