This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
