We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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