he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
