i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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