One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize