I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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