made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
third nipple confirmed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize