Pants 0. Shit 1.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
