where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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