So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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