No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
