So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize