tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
