I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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