He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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