her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
