I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize