I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
