That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
