we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
